Thursday, April 26, 2007

Sixty Day Wonder

Several have commented on how patient I must be in order to give Sunny so much time to come to me. But patience is not my nature. I'd rather rush things, to be honest, and Sunny is no exception. I wish she were one of those sixty day wonders; those horses that you bring home and within a couple weeks they're saddled, a month later you're mounting, and by the end of the second month you're off to horse shows. That's what I'd like.

But that's not what I've got. And you know what? That's not what I am.

I'm not a sixty day wonder. I'm not one to accept what others insist is in my best interest. I'd rather make my own mistakes and learn things myself. Sometimes, the lessons are simple. Other times, they're hard. And if I'd just listen to those around me, those who are experienced, I'd save myself a lot of time and trouble.

The other day Darling and I were talking, and I don't recall the personality trait that the conversation brought up, but Darling said she didn't like it. She didn't want to be that way. But Darling is a work in progress. She's just 13, after all, and she's got plenty of time to grow and learn.

I'm far from being a teen, but I'm still learning and growing. I still make mistakes and I'm certain that the people around me get frustrated with my slow, stubborn learning style. And it's not just the people that I push to the point of exhaustion. I also push God. I know I'm not the woman God would have me be. I still question His wisdom some days. I still offer up my suggestions (as though God needs my input, right?) I don't listen that well when He points out the best way to go about things.

And yet, despite this, God still loves me. He's patient. He waits. He shows me the path that ought to be taken, and then steps back and allows me to make the decision, be it right or wrong. And when I chose wrong, I'll find myself in a mess of trouble. Like Sunny when she ran through blackberries the other day. I'm always finding myself in situations like that. Had Sunny just ignored the horses next door, had she allowed me to walk right up to her instead of rushing off in a panic, she never would have ended up full of thorns. But she chose not to trust me until after she’d gotten into trouble; something I can easily relate to!

Sunny is a gift from God. Through her, I see myself. I see how patient God is with me, not expecting perfection overnight, but allowing me to reach the goal at my own pace. He allows me to get into sticky situations, because that’s how I’ll learn. And because of this, I’m able to allow Sunny the gift of time as well. She’s not going to reach the goal over night. And while the going appears tediously slow, she is showing progress. Like me. Neither of us is a sixty day wonder.


Abiga said...

I enjoy reading about the mustangs. Thank you for sharing with us. Blessings.

vanishingword said...

The last time I was on a horse I was 9, and the stallion decided to scrape me off with a low lying branch. I admire from afar these days.

smilnsigh said...

Lovely concept.