Thursday, February 7, 2008

Keep Me Busy or I'll go Mad!


Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is when we'll find out.

I'm about to burst. My head hurts. My stomach is tied up in knots. I've tried my best not to let this happen, to keep everything low key and not think much about it. I made other plans for April, even, just in case I didn't make the cut.


This is why I don't like applying for things. I hate to lose. Somewhere, way back in the recesses of my little mind, there's a teensy weensy little voice whispering, "What if they don't like you???" And then I'd feel all wounded and rejected. And it's maddening, I tell you, absolutely maddening! Better off just not trying. That's been my motto for over 40 years now. That and Don't Get Even, Get Ahead. Both have served me well over the years. Neither has given me a headache and my nerves have never been rattled. So what was I thinking here? Which one of you put me up to this? Surely I couldn't have hatched this little plan all on my own...my teensy weensy voice must have been sleeping.

Jet and I have been out doing some ground work. The pasture is now thawed out just enough to become slick again, so I've had her out in the driveway working on some showmanship skills. Walking, trotting, setting up. Standing patiently (not her strong point) while I step back and count to ten, then lifting feet and pivoting on the hindquarters like she'd have to do in a showmanship or halter class. I was just at the feed store and completely forgot to check for any small, local fun shows coming up. Typically the local 4-H clubs will start hosting a few in order to put some money in their coffers as well as give their members some practice shows before fair qualifications. I'd like to start getting Jet out in public, so ground manners are simply a must for my big, black butterfly.

I wonder why it is I can walk into a showring and not worry in the least about rejection? A good ride is a good ride, no matter what the placing. I've been happier with good rides and no ribbon than winning a class on a poor ride. Wonder why I have a hard time applying that mentality to applications? If you know, please explain it! In the meantime, it's back out to the horses and mud and manure for me. Tomorrow I go visit Frisco (formerly Alladin), and then to a Ken McNabb colt starting clinic. That ought to keep my mind occupied, right?

7 comments:

Rising Rainbow said...

Hey, I didn't twist your arm but that doesn't mean I wouldn't. Nothing ventured, nothing gained is one of my favorite tunes.

You put your hat in the ring and gave it a shot. I think that's great whether you make the cut or not. You'd do a great job and that's what matters.

I'lll be keeping my fingers crossed.

Tracey said...

Yes, but I think I shall blame you anyway, lol! I hate the waiting. I hate the little voice.

But in reality, I'm handling it better than I thought I would. Probably because if I don't make it in, I've planned a little trip back to Burns to visit the corrals and hopefully get out to the HMA's to see the horses...the really wild ones. Not a bad condolence package, all in all, wouldn't you agree?

Paul said...

Besta luck to you!

And by the way: I posted my "Bucket List." I would have told you earlier, but I was out buying a new hat.

Tracey said...

A new hat???

Anonymous said...

Tracey, you know that I have been praying with you. If I had known about the Ken McNab clinis before this week I might have been able to come over. If you don't try, then God can't open up doors. Right? Right. Lea

jtjedi said...

Hi Tracey-

You were looking for a schooling show? Black Raven Stables in Arlington is having schooling shows every month benefiting People Helping Horses. Take a look at their website for dates.

http://www.blackravenstables.com/

I took Patriot to one of these last summer.

Jamie

Tracey said...

That's what I tell myself, Lea...er..anonymous. =)

Thanks, Jamie. I'll check it out online. I know they hold shows down there frequently as Lea comes over sometimes to ring steward. An added benefit of going there is Steve and Janice live right behind the arena on the other side of the fenceline. Makes a great trip when you can visit friends.